Got Jokes?

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Ducetius
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Got Jokes?

Post by Ducetius » Tue Nov 11, 2008 7:59 pm

One day during a test of the hospital emergency evacuation system, this young male doctor bumps into a female doctor. After talking for a few mins, they decide to talk more over lunch. The male doctor was puzzled by this woman....every few minutes she would excuse herself to go "wash her hands", before eating, while eating, and of course after eating. Anyway, he asks to take her out later that night to get to know her better, she agrees.

That night they decide to go out for cocktails and a little dancing...again..all throughout the course of the date she excuses herself to go "wash her hands." After several drinks, she invites him back to her place for a night cap....

After the sex, they lay on the bed together...and as she starts to get up the guy goes, "let me guess...you have to wash your hands?" She replies.."of course!"

Before she makes it to the bathroom the young doctor bolding states, "you know..I've been thinking, with all the time you spend washing your hands...you must be a surgeon." The woman smiles casually and replies, "thats funny you should mention that...cause I was just thinking about us having sex and came to the conclusion that you must be an Anesthesiologist." Surprised by this assumption the guy asks, "why would you guess that?"....she then replies...."Cause I didn't feel a thing"

kaos
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Re: Got Jokes?

Post by kaos » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:01 pm

fail....
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Ducetius
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Re: Got Jokes?

Post by Ducetius » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:06 pm

:(


How about this...take a shot at myself here...

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven.
“There must be some mistake,” the lawyer argues. “I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five.”
“Fifty five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to our calculations, you’re eighty two.”
“How’s you get that?” the lawyer asks.
Answers St. Peter: “We added up your time sheets.”

Ducetius
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Re: Got Jokes?

Post by Ducetius » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:11 pm

k last one...man I'm bored.



Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he’s snagged an old bottle. As he’s taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish.
“Turn the lake into beer,” he says.
The genie goes “Poof!” and the lake turns into beer.
He says to the other guy, “So what do you think?”
The other guy says, “You jerk. Now we’ve got to piss in the boat.”

kaos
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Re: Got Jokes?

Post by kaos » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:13 pm

A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. "What's this?" he asks. "Cojones, senor," the waiter replies. "What are cojones?" the man asks. "Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."

At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. After dinner the man informed the waiter that these were better than the pair he had the previous afternoon but the portion was much smaller.

"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time."
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Re: Got Jokes?

Post by kaos » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:18 pm

A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her. They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."
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Re: Got Jokes?

Post by kaos » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:20 pm

Two bums are sitting talking. The first one starts bragging, "Today was the best day ever! This morning I found a brand new pack of smokes just sitting on the ground. So you know what I did? I sat and smoked every fucking one of them... had the best day ever." The second bum just laughs, "That's nothing, today I was walking along the rail road tracks and I found this girl laying on the tracks. You know what I did? I fucked her all day long." The other bum interrupts, "Bull! You didn't do it all day long did you?", the other continues, "Well, no but it was for at least a few good hours, best day of my life." The first bums asks, "So did she give you a good blowjob?" The other replies no. "How could you possibly be getting busy with this girl for hours, and she doesn't even give you a blow job?" To which the other replies, "How could she? She didn't have a head!"
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Re: Got Jokes?

Post by Illyrria » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:22 pm

kaos wrote:A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her. They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."
OMFG I nearly choked on my gum ;)

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Re: Got Jokes?

Post by Ducetius » Tue Nov 11, 2008 8:25 pm

yeah that was a good one lol

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